Fluorescent Jesus

That picture is like someone died
A picture I'm not in
A picture I'm not in
A beautiful girl- but sad, and
the hard things
you didn't want me to say
I didn't
I didn't
and now they are the awkward things
that you don't want to hear

Fluorescent Jesus on my nightstand
I stroke his hair and take his hand
And I ask for forgiveness but there's nothing to give
And He asks for my life with no reason to live

You were acting selfless
acting
Some people just aren't selfless
Deeeeeaar
Did you call me dear or honey ever
Dripping down like sickly spears
I don't recall
Deeeeeear
If you need to hit my face hit my face
don't put acid in my pillowcase
I have tough skin but my insides
are aching to crawl out
Maybe through my mouth
Through my eyes.  I miss your eyes.
You're a liar and a thief,
but I love your dark red deep
and I'd hand over anything

You may find me often
passive with a loose grip
Living off a morphine drip
But I knew what it was to hold steady when I knew you

Fluorescent Jesus on my nightstand
I stroke his hair and take his hand
He tells me it's no use
To trudge on trudging on
There's nothing I can do
And I ask for forgiveness but there's nothing to give
And He asks for my life with no reason to live

Laying with my eyes closed
in the dark on the third of the month
I think maybe for once
I will take His Word